I didn’t heal properly. I can’t keep running away from myself but really, it’s all i want to do. I was reading Keltie’s blog after a long long time, and what she said hit home.
Deep down under everything i’m so thankful for on a daily basis, under all that makes me laugh hard and smile wide, i cannot find myself. I’m fucking lost. I cannot keep pushing it under the covers and i cannot keep trying to tell myself i’m okay because i’m fucking not.
I pick my feet up and dance. But dancing just speaks even more for everything i cannot put to words. Head against the wall, i cried again. Why do i feel this way when i’ve never in my life been more surrounded by the people who love me?
I don’t have a right to feel this way at all.