All my loving

I am a whirlwind, a mess. I carve my days out in a deliberate fashion. I plan ahead for what i can, and i try to hold myself together for what i cannot.

Sometimes i drive myself insane. My frustrations that originate from people or circumstances - they start out as harmless pools of disappointment but they morph into seething winds i cannot contain. And then they go from where they’ve started from, into me. They fill me up inside and suddenly i am angry at myself. I am angry for being angry. The fault lies within me and i am not perfect and perfect doesn’t exist but i try so hard to be. 

I cannot erase me.